Why You Should Stop Taking Others Emotions so Seriously
Our dynamics — with ourselves or with others — can be an opportunity for self discovery. We can view every encounter as a mirror through which to discover something important about ourselves and use what we discover as valuable information in the process of arriving at a deeper self-understanding.
It is through the other that we see our reflection; through the other we become conscious of what we are radiating or emitting - good bad or ugly - life will hold up a mirror. How this energy is picked up, translated and perceived determines the level of regard or disregard we receive. Yes, energy is impersonal. And it doesn’t lie.
Everybody. Everything. In fact, all of our interactions can be an opportunity to see more deeply into who we are and how we operate, and on that basis we can begin to refine ourselves and thus become clearer and more appropriate in our behavior.
There are two kinds of mirrors - one reflects lack of awareness and the other depth of awareness — it is up to you to discern which one you are dealing with. If you are currently dealing with a mirror who is selfish, irresponsible, cruel do not mistake the qualities of the other as your own. Or a commentary on your self-worth. This is not how it works. Begin to view the mirror, the reflection, and see what you are called to develop within yourself instead.
Using the other as a reflection of our consciousness process is fascinating and complex. And necessary. It is only through the other we come to know the contents of our inner world. Whether the contents are harmful or benevolent, mirroring is the means whereby we come to an increasingly deeper level of self awareness. Within a relational exchange, these contents will trigger and be triggered. And sometimes what is triggered will leave many of us hurt and stunned.
To question why we were the recipient of bad treatment may feel threatening because we don’t want to acknowledge that we might somehow be the cause, that we might actually have a hand in soliciting and inviting, albeit unconsciously, the actions and reactions of others. But on some level, we are.
For example: If your boss mistreats you, puts you down, belittles you and ignores your hard work — chances are you’ll become offended, angry and complain what a horrible person they are. Instead of pointing fingers, be objective and choose to look closely at what they are reflecting. First why are you being treated in this manner, what or who within you is allowing yourself to be mistreated in the first place.
Your innermost thoughts, whether they originated from you or absorbed from others, contribute to your experiences. This is a hard pill to swallow because none of us want to accept we are responsible for inviting or allowing bad treatment. And we might even completely avoid, overlook, or deny our role in the dynamic. We fail to recognize that the people we have problems with may actually be mirroring for us the disowned parts of ourselves. We penalize and judge the other for the energies we refuse to own or express. But life will bring the mirror back in different forms until we choose to do so, until we integrate the very quality essential to our growth and development.
Whatever relational dynamic you find yourself in - learn to decipher its deeper meaning. Pay attention, become an observer of how you’re energy impacts others and in turn what it inspires in them. Be mindful of who, what and how you are triggered and in what context. Never fear the reflection, instead use it to go deeper and deeper into the process of self-examination and self-discovery, go deeper still into the self, until eventually you discover or uncover the nature of your affliction.
Use the mirroring effect as a barometer of where you are, what you are radiating, what you are thinking on the deepest levels of your being. Use the other’s reflection to unearth and develop your hidden strengths or to eliminate the culprits within that have been inviting unwanted attention, treatment and people into your life.
The next time something happens and you are tempted to get angry, offended or hurt by the other — step back, take a deep breath and ask yourself: “What is being mirrored within my consciousness?” — and I assure you will be rewarded with an answer.
The ultimate purpose of the other as a mirror is to remind us of our higher potential, to reveal who, in essence, we are. Through their reflection we discover the essential and trans formative qualities we need to develop to become whole and fulfilled, to grow and expand. In other words, the other is key on our journey to self realization.
Have a great week Warriors!